Without the Hangover
Bachelor parties come of age as more mature getaways
— Martin Booe, Special Advertising Sections Writer

The bachelor party’s reputation has always been a bit swampy. It is the occasion for a man to say goodbye to his life as a single person, so its ingredients, at least in popular imagination, include massive amounts of alcohol, women jumping out of cakes in scant attire and regression to primitivism reminiscent of Cro-Magnons.

Usually organized by the best man, the party traditionally involves a roaring night of debauchery, which, if anyone had any sense, did not take place the night before the wedding. Although the 2009 hit movie “The Hangover” depicted the aftermath of a celebration gone terribly awry, its basic proposition — a bunch of guy friends heading to Las Vegas for a weekend away — actually draws its steam from the very real trend of having a mild-mannered party instead. This is what is termed the “destination weekend.” Take away the whack-job future brotherin-law and the accidental ingestion of bad street drugs in “The Hangover,” and you’d have a great guys’ getaway with no need to call 911.

A Little History

Geoffrey Chaucer is often cited as the first to use the word “bachelor” in reference to an unmarried man, but the bachelor party itself goes back to the ancient Spartans, according to wedding columnist Arlene Stewart, author of “The Bride’s Book of Weddings” (William Morrow, 2005).

“The Spartans were the world’s greatest warriors, and before they went into battle, they would have stag parties. It was the last hurrah, and eventually this evolved into a pre-wedding ritual held several days before the wedding. Of course, there’s a tinge of male chauvinism in looking at marriage as a battle, a guy giving up his freedom, but it just remained a custom.”

The slightly menacing term “stag party” is still used, though seems to be fading from the lexicon. The bachelor party has different names in different countries, but the French version, enterrement de vie de garcon (“the burial of the life as a boy”) is the most vivid.

With men getting married later in life now, though, the “boy” has most likely been buried long ago, and if the groom hasn’t gotten his yah-yahs out yet, he probably isn’t ready to settle down anyway.

“People are waiting longer to get married, and the way men are celebrating with their male friends reflects that maturity,” said wedding and event planner Julie Pryor of Los Angeles-based Pryor Events. “I wouldn’t say it’s like they’re going to Sunday school, but men are really interested in enjoying the time with their friends in a place they love — and being able to remember it later.”

The groups are usually fairly small, between four and eight, she said. “The guys really do want something of an intimate experience or it kind of loses its meaning.”

Event planner Kelley Lee Gin, owner of Picture Perfect Events in Los Angeles, concurred. “These days, not a lot of guys are doing the crazy drunken weekend thing,” she said. “They’ve done all that before and they just want a nice quiet weekend.”

For the record, it’s not just the guys doing this. Both the groom’s and the bride’s friends will go out of town for a weekend, Gin said.

Dibs on Destinations

Las Vegas is a hot spot for both genders, said Pryor, who recommended that the celebration be held a month or two before the wedding. “‘The Hangover’ didn’t hurt” Las Vegas’ popularity as a party destination, she said, “but Vegas has a lot of natural advantages anyway. It’s easy to get there from Southern California, and there is an endless variety of things to do there.”

When Pryor is helping arrange a bachelor weekend in Vegas, usually the first order of business is to reserve a poolside cabana where the party can bask in the dudeness of it all. There is always the opportunity to gamble away your life’s savings and to wake up married to someone you don’t remember meeting, but fine dining, entertainment, spas and sports could also be on tap.

There’s also a trend toward taking off to farther destinations, such as Mexico. The Baja Peninsula is abundant in fishing charters where men can get in touch with their inner- Hemingways and enjoy fresh seafood and cold beer while they’re at it.

And for that matter, alcohol can be the centerpiece of a getaway without becoming the tail that wags the dog — particularly if the destination is the wine country, as it was in the 2004 film “Sideways” (though it’s probably better if the groom-to-be doesn’t get it on with another woman). The Napa Valley is where one of Gin’s recent clients took his band of brothers for a weekend of fine dining and wine-tasting.

That experience can also be found in Santa Barbara County. “We’ve seen bachelorette parties doing wine tours for a long time, but now we’re starting to see more bachelor parties. Tours are an attractive way to spend a day, since you’re shuttled to the wineries and can really enjoy the wine without having to worry about driving,” said Bryan Hope, owner of Sustainable Vine Wine Tours in Santa Barbara.

Showing Consideration

If your dream is to invite your friends to retrace Sir Richard Frances Burton’s search for the source of the Nile, or a Virgin Galactic trip to outer space, you might want to keep the bottom line in mind.

“It’s really important to be sensitive to budgetary restraints,” said Christy Weber, of the weddding resource site Junebugweddings.com. “If an actual trip away isn’t financially possible, there are other alternatives. We’re seeing guys plan parties around sporting events and concerts.”

Traditionally, the best man and the groomsmen pay for the party, but that’s not always the case when it comes to destination trips, Weber said. If the groom is asking for a higher-budget event, he should be ready to chip in and should not be hurt if some friends can’t make it, she added.

There are also more geographically friendly ways to go. For instance, the acreage of golf courses located between Palm Springs and San Diego could make up a small country if they were consolidated. Plus, they’re easy to get to. Another idea: the Alisal Guest Ranch and Resort in Solvang, a one-stop dudes ranch with golf, tennis, fishing and horseback riding.

“A destination that offers a variety of activities over the course of a weekend or a few days is ideal,” said Gin. “And I’ve noticed that guys do want to spend a good part of their time outdoors.”

* Photo: A weekend of golf with the guys might be what a mature groom would enjoy for his bachelor party. Shown is the Crossings at Carlsbad ocean-view course.

This story was edited and designed by the Custom Publications staff of the Los Angeles Times Advertising Department. Questions or comments? Contact Darlene Gunther at 213.237.3133 or e-mail her at darlene.gunther@latimes.com. For advertising inquiries, contact Sandra Gilson at 213.237.4646 or e-mail her at sandragilson@latimes.com.